What is wrong with me? What can I do? Mental Health

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What is wrong with me? What can I do?

I tend to get into depressive modes about 5-6 a year that last about an hour.. During this I can be very angry and destructive, which are bad, and worse if I%26#039;m drinking. One happened yesterday while I was drinking and I almost killed myself. I was with my ex boyfriend and he kicked me out but then called me later and told me under no certain terms that I would lose everything in my life if I didn%26#039;t get this stuff under wraps, and that he supports my efforts to do so. I really love this guy and am devastated that our relationship fell apart, partly because of these episodes and their results. I don%26#039;t really have any money for a therapist, or insurance. I don%26#039;t qualify for government aid. Otherwise, I am of higher intelligence, well spoken and overall try to be a nice person. I have tried AA in the past,with mixed results, but it doesn%26#039;t stick. I have had 2 duis and just want to end the pain and move on with my life. What%26#039;s wrong, and what can I do?

1 day ago

Also I should mention that these episodes only happen when I am angry and feel out of control, not randomly. They happened a lot around my ex because I often feel angry and helpless towards his actions.

well firstly can i just say that this guy sounds like a jerk. he broke up with you because you are ill what sort of boyfriend does that.
it does sound mainly like a drink problem get that sorted and you should be fine (go tea total) dont touch another drop o booze. it might be hard at first but it will get easierAnswer Over!
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